Of Knights and Donkeys
by Ambience
Summary: Nothing good comes out of menstruation right? Read the story of how menstruation saves the day! [R&R]


Author's Notes: This is an idea I came up with while walking to the buses after school, and obviously, I was having my period. This is disgusting. Only if you have a really sick mind will you find this amusing. As I have an extremely sick mind, I find this extremely amusing. So onward. Also, this is a one-shot, like all my other fics.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FY, elsewise, Miaka'd be squashed to death by that fucking chicken by now. I don't know why people complain about these. I like typing them, they fill up space, and make my story look longer. ^.^  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Now it's a common misconception that nothing good can come out of menstruation. To the faint hearted would faint at the sight of the blood, and the slut thinks of it as a denial of sex for 5 days. But, as stated earlier, it is a common misconception, and here, is the story of how menstruation saved the day...  
  
Of Knights and Donkeys  
  
Yui walked down the grey monotone street, wallowing in memories and feeling extremely sorry for herself.  
  
Why did everyone always want to rape Miaka? Why? Why? Yui screamed to the heavens above. What made Miaka so unbelievably sexy and desirable that every man and seishi in the four lands wanted to rape her? It wasn't fair!  
  
Well, that one time, the second time she went into the book that she nearly got raped, but then, the stupid man was drunk and disgusting. All the pretty men wanted to rape Miaka, Yui fumed, and that, was really unfair.  
  
It's not that she actually wanted to get raped, Yui just wanted someone to nearly rape her, then have her knight in shining armor to gallop in and save her. A picture of Tamahome sprang up in her mind. Yui mentally shoved it aside. If that certain broccoli haired "knight" were to "gallop in and save her," Yui would rather just save herself. Yui pictured herself swinging a large purple purse at her attacker and thought of herself as extremely brave and heroic.  
  
So lost in thought she was, Yui didn't notice that she had wandered into downtown until a pair of large beefy hands grabbed her, and jerked her deep into an alleyway.  
  
Yui tried to scream, but the beefy palms muffled the sound, so Yui thought of what the girl did in the stories, and tried to bite the fatty hand over her mouth. But the hand was so puffy and beefy that Yui couldn't bite into it.  
  
Her attacker chuckled in her ear, "Fiesty! Well, it'll make it all the more painful for you if you keep struggling."  
  
Now Yui panicked. Where the hell was her knight in shining armor???  
  
- - - - -  
  
Nuriko and Tasuki were walking through the streets downtown laughing and talking when they heard "...all the more painful...keep struggling."  
  
Exchanging looks, they both walked into the alleyway intending on saving some sweet virginal maiden. - - - - -  
  
The large beefy man had pinned Yui to the brick wall and was quickly pulling down his pants and disposing of his tight white briefs.  
  
Yui looked on with horror as each ring of bulging fat was revealed and the thick wiry bush of pubic hair. In the middle of that black wiry bush, sat a maroon wrinkled prune-like thing. It was twitching at her. Yui's eyes bulged, and her mouth, now uncovered, formed a silent, tragic "o".  
  
The man was now wasting no time in shredding Yui's blouse, and skirt. Yui's cries and struggles grew frantic now. Finally the man yanked down her underwear, reavealing a blood drenched pad. Now the beefy mean's tiny bulgy eyes bugged out.  
  
"Blood!" he squeaked.  
  
Devising a plan quickly, Yui moaned, "Oh, and I'm going to gush, I'm-I'm gonna....guuuush..." A fresh spurt of blood gushed out.  
  
The attacker, eyes bulging, backed away from the horrendous sight before him. Squeaking, he ran for his life past the confused Nuriko and Tasuki. Cackling, Yui pulled up her underwear again.  
  
"Wow," Tasuki declared, "What'd ya do?"  
  
"Wanna see?" Yui asked.  
  
"Sure," Tasuki replied.  
  
Yui pulled her underwear down just as a little blood trickled out. Tasuki fainted dead away.  
  
"Err, is he okay?" Yui asked concerned.  
  
"Oh he'll come around soon," Nuriko replied merrily, plopping down on the collapsed Tasuki's chest and beginning to slap him enthusiastically, "But you're okay, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine," Yui replied. For a few minutes, the only sound heard was Nuriko's continuous slapping of Tasuki.  
  
When Tasuki finally came around, his cheeks were purple, and he sat up groaning.  
  
"Okay, up now, oaf," Nuriko said, pulling his fellow seishi up, "We'll walk you home, Yui."  
  
"Thanks," Yui replied, and paused, "Why are there two of you? Why do I have two knights in shining armor."  
  
"Oh that," Nuriko answered, still grinning merrily, "I'm Prince Charming, don't mind him, he's just my noble steed, Tasuki the donkey."  
  
"What?!" Tasuki spluttered, "I am not-"  
  
"Oh don't mind him," Nuriko apologized, "He's just rather prideful, you know? Now which way is your house?" 


End file.
